"LILAC SPIDER MUMS" story
One may wonder why a bouquet of flowers has such meaning as these do for me. One day, as I came home from work, I turned the corner into the kitchen, on the bar was this beautiful bouquet of mums. I turned to see the smiling face of my youngest daughter. No words were necessary, simply a loving hug. This memory inspired "Lilac Spider Mums", this 8" x 10" oil painting on canvas. The chrysanthem is her favorite flower and purple her favorite color. This is significant. I have heard it said that when giving a gift, one usually chooses something they themselves like and want for themselves.
Some people think this is selfish, implying that the giver has not taken time to find out what the recipient would like. I think it is the best form of giving, because the giver is giving something away that they themselves would like to have. This is not selfish at all. Also, each time I look at the item, in this case it is flowers or a painting of them, it reminds me of my daughter and the love she has for me.
Every child fulfills something in their mother, no matter how many she bears. When I married, I had just been in the hospital with mononucleosis. Misdiagnosis delayed my admission for several weeks. I was very ill, and by this time my spleen was the size of a football. I was immediately put into a drug-induced coma for 3 weeks. Finally, after a month, I was released with strict instructions from my doctor to have no children for at least 3 years due to my physical condition. I married and my first child was born 18 months later, which had a negative impact on my health. Another child was born 22 months after this and the whole pregnancy and delivery were so difficult, I said I never wanted another child.
It is interesting how things happen that seem to guide us on a path of destiny, a purpose ordained if we follow Our Creator. After 8 years of living life, I thought everything was fine with my health until a routine exam proved I was in the early stages of cervical cancer. I am an incurable optimist, as I have said many times. I had no fear of dying, but whatever happened I knew this was meant to be. People may think me crazy, my family did. But all I could think of was having another child. When I told the doctor, he said, "Okay, this is what we will do. We will do some procedures to kill the infected tissue, but after a couple tries that are not successful, you will have to have a hysterectomy." The second procedure worked, but it was known that the tissue would eventually grow back as it was previously. Nine months later I delivered a healthy 9 pound 12 1/2 ounce baby girl. She has given all of us much grief and joy, as all children do, but to me she has been nothing but a blessing, my precious gift of life. When she was 6 months, I had the hysterectomy.
According to others, I should have listened to fear, had a hysterectomy immediately, and missed out on all those experiences. I had relatives tell me I was taking a chance with my life. They said if I had not had her, then I would not have known the difference. I would never miss what I never knew. I know in my spirit this is a lie. I missed her deeply before I knew her. There was the kind of connection that cannot be explained, nor denied, the kind of connection that drew me to want something so much I was willing to do whatever possible to allow The Creator to put her soul into the body of my little girl. I hope to always have this kind of faith and trust.